this friggin country changes the food pyramid more than I change my underwear.... here is the latest

In examining my personal quest for the healthy body, I have found that the reason I gain weight is basically dumbness when it comes to food. Not ignorance, mind you. I know the right way to eat; I just get dumb around food. I genuinely don't understand why you have to be hungry to eat. Sometimes, I'll buy a big bag of fun size candy bars. I'll have a few, then a few more. At some point part of me will say "That is enough candy for today." The dumb part of me will reply "Well, I'm going to eat all of these eventually, why not just roll on and eat them now." You see what I mean? Just dumb.
Luckily, having been dumb all my life, I have adapted to it. If you've ever set the time on your alarm clock 15 minutes ahead to make sure you get up on time, you know what I mean. Here are my tricks.
Trick 1: Breakfast. Eat breakfast every day. It jump-starts your metabolism. I don't know if I believe that, but breakfast is a good opportunity to get a healthy meal out of the way. I make sure to eat breakfast while I am still half-asleep. I am usually too tired to think straight, so I go for the same breakfast every day. Cereal with skim milk and raisins, V8 on the side, would get boring but I am too sleepy to be concerned. Extra tricky: if I use a bowl with steeper sides, it looks like I am getting more cereal.
Trick 2: Veggies. I try for 5 serving of veggies a day. I often go for raw carrots and celery, no dip. It is purportedly healthy to eat veggies. They are low calorie and nutritious. The trick is that they are high volume for the calories they contain and take for freakin' ever to eat. On my lunch break it is all I can do to get the damn things down. I can knock out a chicken biscuit in about 45 seconds.
Trick 3: Lunch. Packed in the morning after breakfast. I do this while I am still tired, but now I am awake enough to be thinking clearly, but my belly is full. This helps me make good food choices. I pack a small lunch and 2 snacks using reasonable portion sizes. (Sometimes my first "snack" is both snacks and half the lunch, but that is all I carry with me, so tough luck.) I always pack the raw veggies as one of the snacks.
Trick 3A: Lunch Portions. If you look on the label of a bag of crackers it will give you a portion size. I try to pick out about this portion size if crackers will be my snack. I take them, put them in a sandwich bag, hold them up to the light, and say "Who the hell are they trying to kid?!" Then I sullenly throw them in the lunch bag and go on my merry way.
Trick 4: Money. I carry no cash to work. This way there is no temptation to run over to the café or hit the vending machines. There is no stopping at WAWA for an egg muffin.
Trick 5: Dinner. I have no tricks for dinner. I am working on it though. I just have to find a personality flaw to exploit and I will have dinner and the evening snack taken care of. The best I can do is go to the gym right after work. This way I only need about 10 seconds of motivation. Instead of getting off at my exit, I drive by and head for the gym. Now that the ball is in motion I always follow through. At dinner I am usually motivated to eat healthy after a workout. Sometimes it backfires and I come home ravenous and all rules go out the window.
By this stage in my life, my personality is pretty much cast. I am not going to change. However, with the right plan, I can make who I am work for me in areas that I struggle. These days, my dumbness is my greatest asset.

Johnny
moochchesdale@yahoo.com