MORE- Jan 2006

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And This year's NFL season was almost as bad as Ozzie Guillen calling for Bobby Jenks, not by pointing to which arm he throws with, but by holding his arms out as to represent being fat. With that being said, I will focus a bit more on the year in fantasy football since JP covered the regular season so wonderfully. Let me start by saying that the steal of any draft this year, especially mine, would have to be 'the vicious beast' Larry Johnson. I'm not just saying this because I got him the 6th round of my draft, I know a person who took him in the 3rd and 4th rounds and that is still the steal of the draft. I won't go into great detail about his numbers because my head would explode. Priest Holmes finished the season with 119 carries; if Larry had 75 of those he would have easily won the rushing title. His rush average of 5.2 which tied Tiki is unreal, not to mention he had 11 more rushing touchdowns than him. If you have first overall pick in your draft next year, look no further than this man. I'm going to get off this subject because I feel myself getting all warm in the pants.

Breakout Players of the Year: Besides Larry Johnson, I would have to say that Lamont Jordan had an awesome year for my terrible Oakland Raiders. Rushing for 1025 yards with a 3.8 average was a nice year for the first year Raider. He also led all RBs with 70 receptions and also led them all with 563 reception yards. Steve Smith would have to be my other choice. Finishing the season tied with Larry Fitzgerald with 103 catches, leading all wideouts with 1563 yards and tied with 'Marvelous' Marvin Harrison with 12 TDs. And this all after a season ending leg injury from last year, look for him earlier than you would in next year's drafts.
Honorable Mentions: Larry Fitzgerald, Neil Rackers

Busts of the Year: Would everyone please stop dangling from Brett Favre's hick jock-strap!!! He threw 29 interceptions, to go along with his 20 touchdowns. That puts him in with the company of Aaron Brooks, Kyle Boller, and Trent Dilfer as the only starters (for most games) with more pics than touchdowns (and he had way more than them). The only other starter with a lower rating was Brooks with a 70.0, Favre's rating was a 70.9. If he was the only available quarterback left to start that I could pick up in my league, I would just forfeit with an illegal roster because I would refuse to play him, and you should too.
Honorable Mentions: Andre Johnson, Priest Holmes, Nate Burleson

That's all I got for you for fantasy, as for the playoffs, I have a little input.

Carolina will beat the G-Men, Skins will beat the Bucs, Steelers beat the Bengals, Patriots will beat the Jags.

Superbowl Prediction: Patriots 24 - Bears 10


MORE SPORTS And This year's NFL season was almost as bad as Ozzie Guillen calling for Bobby Jenks, not by pointing to which arm he throws with, but by holding his arms out as to represent being fat. With that being said, I will focus a bit more on the year in fantasy football since JP covered the regular season so wonderfully. Let me start by saying that the steal of any draft this year, especially mine, would have to be 'the vicious beast' Larry Johnson. I'm not just saying this because I got him the 6th round of my draft, I know a person who took him in the 3rd and 4th rounds and that is still the steal of the draft. I won't go into great detail about his numbers because my head would explode. Priest Holmes finished the season with 119 carries; if Larry had 75 of those he would have easily won the rushing title. His rush average of 5.2 which tied Tiki is unreal, not to mention he had 11 more rushing touchdowns than him. If you have first overall pick in your draft next year, look no further than this man. I'm going to get off this subject because I feel myself getting all warm in the pants. Breakout Players of the Year: Besides Larry Johnson, I would have to say that Lamont Jordan had an awesome year for my terrible Oakland Raiders. Rushing for 1025 yards with a 3.8 average was a nice year for the first year Raider. He also led all RBs with 70 receptions and also led them all with 563 reception yards. Steve Smith would have to be my other choice. Finishing the season tied with Larry Fitzgerald with 103 catches, leading all wideouts with 1563 yards and tied with 'Marvelous' Marvin Harrison with 12 TDs. And this all after a season ending leg injury from last year, look for him earlier than you would in next year's drafts. Honorable Mentions: Larry Fitzgerald, Neil Rackers Busts of the Year: Would everyone please stop dangling from Brett Favre's hick jock-strap!!! He threw 29 interceptions, to go along with his 20 touchdowns. That puts him in with the company of Aaron Brooks, Kyle Boller, and Trent Dilfer as the only starters (for most games) with more pics than touchdowns (and he had way more than them). The only other starter with a lower rating was Brooks with a 70.0, Favre's rating was a 70.9. If he was the only available quarterback left to start that I could pick up in my league, I would just forfeit with an illegal roster because I would refuse to play him, and you should too. Honorable Mentions: Andre Johnson, Priest Holmes, Nate Burleson That's all I got for you for fantasy, as for the playoffs, I have a little input. Carolina will beat the G-Men, Skins will beat the Bucs, Steelers beat the Bengals, Patriots will beat the Jags. Superbowl Prediction: Patriots 24 - Bears 10	Who will be SUPER?
That time of year.. Here we are ladies and gentlemen, the beginning of NFL Playoff time. And in this writer's opinion, they can't come fast enough. This is for a couple of reasons, one being that this has been one of the most predictable, boring, and shitty seasons in recent memory, with more off-the-field distractions than there were quality games on the field. Off the top of my head, we had:1.) T.O. acting like T.O., which loosely translated is an asshole acting like a douchebag. 2.) Daunte Culpepper and the fabulous Vikings having sex with hookers on a boat (I actually think this one is both hilarious and newsworthy, less so because this shit probably happens weekly in the N.F.L.; more so because the only reason they got caught was because they were ratted out by the staff of the boat; who were probably fat and gross and just wanted Moe Williams to use a sex toy on THEM; but I digress). 3.)The terrible situation that the Saints were in all year. Jim Haslett is one poor bastard, I really think he's a solid fucking coach, and he got dealt the shittiest hand possible, and then the NFL kicked him in the balls afterwards. 4.) Eli Manning being a pussy. 5.) The Dungy tragedy. So when you throw these issues as the main ingredients to a season, add some predictable football storylines such as the NFC sucking, the Colts being good, Brett Favre being an overrated hick and blah, blah, blah you come up with a pretty lame, reheated season. Fortunately for us, the playoffs actually do provide some very intriguing matchups, particularly in the NFC, where all the teams suck equally. So, I've done my limited research, and now you all get to read what a bartender and substitute teacher thinks about the playoffs and how they will pan out. Lucky You. SATURDAYS GAMES Bucs giving two and a half points to the Skins at home-I fucking love the Skins in this game. More a product of not liking the Bucs, granted, but I have a raging hard-on for Santana Moss, and it looks like LaVar Arrington is back at PSU. (Think about how much fucking ass that guy probably pulled there…Jesus Christ). Jon Gruden looks like Chuckie from Child's Play, and gets up at 3:30 AM because he is a "workaholic." Blow me John Gruden. The Skins will cover and advance. Pats giving 7 and a half at home to the shitty Jags- I know what you're thinking, "But J.P. you dickhead, the Jags are 12-4, how are they shitty? God you are an asshole!!!" And you would be right, until you looked at who the Jags beat this year to get that record. Ok, they beat Seattle in Week 1, fine. They beat the Bengals and by some miracle went into Pitt and won. They then lost to the Rams (ew), and then played what most experts like to call, "The fucking worst bunch of teams ever assembled in a row." Houston, Baltimore, Tennessee, 'Zona and Cleveland. (All Wins) A quick loss to the Colts, then they finished out their season beating the legendary 49ers (by 1 point) and then the Texans and Titans. My point here is to illustrate that the Jags are not a solid 12-4 team, and while I do like their defense a little bit, the Pats should have no trouble with them. The Pats will win and cover. SUNDAYS GAMES G-Men giving 3 to at home to the Panthros- This should be one solid game, if only for the overall mediocrity of the two teams involved. Eli Manning is approaching Favre territory as far as being overrated. Every pass this dude throws wobbles like a retarded duck. Shockey and Plax have made this kid look better than he is, and in all honesty I have to say Tiki Barber is the second best running back in the league, behind LT. Of the nine plays the Giants have than went over 50 yards this year, Tiki is responsible for 5 of them. He had three 200 yard rushing games. The guy is fucking nasty. All that being said, the Panthers will beat em b/c Jake Delhomme is a "fiery competitor" and Julius Peppers is "a fucking beast" and Steve Smith is "really good at football." Bengal-Tiger-Cats getting 3 at home from Pittsburgh- If I were a betting man, I would bet the shit out of Cincinatti. Carson Palmer is the best young QB in the league, and Chad Johnson is a funny dude. That is basically all the analysis I have on this game. I had more, but I don't feel like writing it all out. Just trust me ok? Well that's it for week one boys and girls, y'all enjoy your football, and remember one thing, Eli Manning is a pussy!