You can't change anyone else. This I know to be true. If you drop the word "else" and the phrase is still true. In fact, lets get rid of anyone as well. You can't change.
There is an eerily accurate personality test called Meyers-Briggs. It asks questions like "Would you rather count ducks or drop napalm on villagers?" After several hundred questions (I think, it's been a while) the test generates a profile of your aptitude, problem solving skills and interpersonal relationships. The results inspire just about the same initial reaction in everyone I talk to: Get the HELL out of my head. The test is that good.

The theory is that if you know your profile and are aware of the other profiles, you will get along better with people. You will be able to harness your strengths. Sure, this really does work for some people. On a slightly broader scale the test tells me "This is the way you come hardwired from the factory. All the programming in the world will not change you."

In short, all things being equal, given the same circumstances you will make the same choices. Are you a woman that continues to date guys that treat you like crap, always thinking the next time will be different but never breaking the pattern? Are you not making the progress you feel you should at work because you come to work hung over a couple time a month (a couple times a week, daily…), each time vowing it will be the last time? Do you (do I) have an uncontrollable sweet tooth, starting with one piece of cake on a special occasion and falling into a pattern of eating meals of candy from vending machines, constantly ballooning up in weight and dieting down (this time I will keep the weight off)?

If you are trying to change yourself, settle in for a long haul. It is not about willpower. Unless you can grow a third arm using willpower, you can't change who you are inside using willpower either. (If you can grow a third arm using willpower, you may be able to get on Letterman).

This does not negate free will. At any given moment you have choices. A wise old sage once told me that the only thing you have to do is die, everything else is about choices and consequences. (This sage was not on a mountain in Tibet, rather in an auto repair shop in Mechanicsville Virginia. The only Zen you find on top of a mountain is the Zen you bring up there with you.) The way to break the pattern is simple (not easy, if it was so easy you'd already be doing it.) If I am doomed to make the same choices in a given circumstance, and I cannot change myself, I have to change my circumstance.
You will never be hung over for work if you never pick up the first drink. Maybe you enjoy drinking and this seems drastic. Look at where you are and where you want to be. Is it worth it? Choices and consequences.

Apparently, from reading this article, I am a pedantic ass. I'll work on that.
Johnny
moochchesdale@yahoo.com

The latest news for gleny.com is that March is going to be mayhem... With the polarbear plunge just over, and 3 parades infront of me; this month is going to truly wear me out. Don't worry folks, I have enough energy to handle it. And with the magic of Gleny.com, you will get to witness it.

Another news flash is that with all these events being videoed there will be a chance at doing a feature length movie. I am kind of jazzed about it, and I am sure you won't hear the end of it....